Will Smith says he even thought about murdering his father

The actor Will Smith has revealed one of his best kept secrets: he thought about killing his dad, William Carol Smith Sr., to do justice to his mother, Caroline Bright.

The actor has revealed this in his memoir, “Will,” in which he recalls how his father, who died of cancer in 2016, “terrorized” his entire family when he was little.

His strict rules and the violence he wielded against his mother by another made Will swear to himself that he would make him pay one day.

In a pre-publication of the autobiographical book in the magazine “People”, Will explains that a very concrete and strong incident that took place between his parents in his childhood “marked” who he is today.

“My father was violent, but he also attended every game, every performance or recital. I was an alcoholic, but I was sober at all the premieres of all my movies. He listened to all my records. He visited all the film sets. The same perfectionism that terrified his family put food on the table every night of my life.”

“When I was nine years old, I saw my father punch my mother in the head so hard that she collapsed. I watched him spit blood. That moment in my room, probably more than any other moment in my life, defined who I am. And if you wonder if, maybe, all that has made Will become the international sympathetic superstar we know, the man of action in many films, always trying to rescue people. Yes, he himself has chosen that path, precisely for that moment“, he has pointed out.

“Everything I’ve done since then, the awards, the accolades, the spotlights, the attention, the characters and the laughs, there has always been an underlying string of apologies to my mother for my inaction that day. For failing him that day. For failing him and facing my father. For being a coward. What we know as ‘Will Smith’, the agent who charges himself, the legendary movie superstar, is basically an invention, a character created with care, designed to protect me. To hide from the world. To hide the coward”, says the actor. Experiences that even made Will Smith consider murdering his father.

As a teenager, anger at his father’s behavior when he was a child made him think about revenge.

“One night, as I was gently wheeling him from his room to the bathroom, a darkness came over me. The path between the two rooms goes through stairs. As a child I always told myself that one day I would avenge my mother. That when he was old enough, when he was strong enough, when he wasn’t a coward, he would kill him.”

This is how she describes the moment when it occurred to her to finish him off: “I stood at the top of the stairs. I could push it off unscathed pretty easy. Decades of hurt, anger, and resentment surfaced and then backed off, I shook my head and led Dad to the bathroom.”