Women up! It is a phrase that has inspired a couple of movies to make the simile between the sexual position in which the woman is over her partner and being in total control of any situation.
Although it is a classic sexual position, perhaps as old as human history, it causes insecurity in women because – although in effect it puts them in control of the action – they feel that perhaps they are not doing it well enough.
Three initial recommendations
Most of the allegations of insecurity with this position are about not knowing if the gear that should bring pleasure to both the partner and herself is working correctly, and the first thing, for it to work in this and any other sexual position, is keep in mind that every body is different. Specifically in the case of women, each vulva is unique, so you have to get out of your mind that there is only one method.
Another general recommendation is to give importance to communication as a couple, asking what they like, at what time and recognizing together movements that they like is part of the sexual game that will greatly enrich the relationship. However, there are recommendations that can help improve this experience.
And the third tip is to understand that orgasm, less frequent in women than in men, according to a survey by Indiana University, should not be the absolute goal of sexual intercourse. Along the way there is also much to discover about our own body and that of our partner.
The cowgirl and the rocking
Dr. Mónica Aranda, a clinical sexologist, explains that one of the most repeated questions in her consultation is related to this position. “How do I know I’m doing it right when I’m up there? When I’m up I don’t know if I move well. These are questions that I get asked a lot, but the most important thing that both men and women should know is the anatomical position.”
With this, Aranda indicates that when a woman is on top of the man, the vulva is downwards and understanding that the point of greatest pleasure is the glans of the clitoris, that is, the visible part located in the upper part of the opening of the vagina, The main thing is to tilt the pelvis. “It’s about moving the pelvis rhythmically back and forth. Now, the movement and rhythm is dictated by pleasure. You can start with the movement back and forth, but then you can make a rounded movement or give more intensity.”
The specialist points out that we have to become masters of our own choreography, but beyond the tilting movement itself, we must understand that it is a set of actions that add to the pleasure. “If I have my hair loose, if I touch myself, if I sweat, my perfume, my moans, it all adds up. That is why there is not just one tip on how to move”.
“Every body is different and when two people are together only they know how to fit together better, like the game of Tetris. It is about a meeting between two people, human beings, with a context, with feelings, so it cannot be a universal formula for everyone”, she points out.
The position in detail
According to the women’s health portal Flo, this position provides the best stimulation and the woman can control the rhythm, depth, angle for better friction and speed.
Being on top of her, the woman also has easy access to stimulation with her bare hands and this position gives her total prominence, while giving the partner direct access to stimulation of other erogenous zones, as well as a provocative visual angle .
However, it is also important to take certain precautions into account. Although this is not the most dangerous sexual position, Dr. Kat Van Kirk, a sex therapist, points out that this position also presents a danger if sudden or inappropriate movements are made. If there is not enough lubrication or if there is too much friction, a painful situation can occur, in addition to the fact that the weight of the female body is concentrated on the male virile member.