:quality(85)//cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/infobae/OUY7PL2MBBDZLEQ66OQNY7BQTA.jpg "What are the symptoms of sexual anxiety and how to control it to achieve pleasure 1")
Occasional anxiety is normal throughout life. It is an affective state that can have its healthy side when, for example, it allows us to assess situations that could be at risk or when it gives energy to different projects, among other times.
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However, those who suffer from anxiety often have worries and intense fearsexcessive and persistent in everyday situations.
In the plane of sexuality“Anxiety becomes a symptom when we feel apprehensive or mis-anticipate causeless danger or make us believe we are being eroticized when in fact we are cleared by cumread”, explained to GlobeLiveMedia Walter Ghedin, (MN 74 794), psychiatrist and sexologist.
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The specialist explained that anxiety can be brief or episodic or chronic, accompanying the person in a persistent way, in both cases “it is common for sexual desire to drop and compromise other sexual functions such as erection, lubrication or orgasm. It can even cause pain during sex.
There are different aspects in which anxiety makes a dent in sexuality: there are those which they anticipate too much what will happen during sex (usually they think they will fail) and take precautions or prefer to avoid it.
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On the other hand, there are those who are ruled by impulses or compulsions who seek quick contact to release tension. “In either case, anxiety prevails by interposing itself between the bodies and blocking pleasure,” warns Ghedin.
Although anxious people are not deprived of jouissance, they experience the sexual relationship as a test that they must pass in order to obtain a good mark, that is to say to please their partner, whether he is stable or casual.
“They find it difficult to focus on how they feel and don’t focus on the body, but in the ideas imposed on it. They find it difficult to focus on different levels of arousal, erogenous zones and sexual fantasies. They are demanding with themselves; they believe that the sexual act is based on intercourse and underestimate the importance of play and other practices that are not penetration”, explained the sex therapist. For this reason, they end up being insecure and struggle to innovate.
Regarding the differences between those who suffer from anxiety and those who experience extreme fears, Ghedín pointed out: “Anxious people face the relationship with a lot of fear and anticipatory ideas. In exchange, sex phobes anticipate badlyappear feeling of inferiority and they also fear being embarrassed or being embarrassed by the other”.
This active alarm system in sexology is called the “self-spectator role”. That is, an external gaze that judges and evaluates (almost always negatively) sexual behavior: “you’re going to fail”, “you can’t relax”, “you won’t reach orgasm”, etc So much invasion of fears and beliefs that sexual phobics do not even dare to have fantasies and reject erotic contacts.
Another common behavior among anxious people is to dislike previousBecause of this, “they shorten the erotic game to get rid of the subject, which leads to more tension and the inability for the body and the erotic sensations to increase,” Ghedin told GlobeLiveMedia.
Moreover, it often happens that if at some point their partners propose new practices they enter into the dilemma of doing it or not doing it, they do not dare to try variants. On the one hand, they would like to modify the erotic actions, but on the other hand, they feel strange and doubt how to do it.
“In the case of people with obsessive traits, the perfectionism and the scheduling of actions – like planning the day, the time, the way to do it – are impositions that dominate them. Moreover, they do not tolerate disappointment and are irritable, discouraged or filled with worry or guilt for not having acted as they had planned (they confuse their sexual plans and strategies with sexual desire)”, illustrated Ghedin.
This specialist pointed out that sexual anxiety is more common in men, especially because of the social and cultural influence of having to conform, demonstrate one’s power, please one’s sexual partner. However, consultations for female anorgasmia and anxious vaginismus are increasing.
Anxiety management goes beyond the purely sexual framework since it invades other areas of the person’s life. Therefore, the lifestyle changes They are fundamental.
manage the stress work and family with aerobic exercises, yoga, breathing, meditation, emotional regulation techniques, psychotherapy, are some of the current proposals that are very effective.
“Pleasure and satisfaction can be achieved in different ways: focusing on bodily sensations that come from the body and feeling the other when I hug, kiss, touch, for example. The sexual encounter feeds on interaction; it’s not one-sided,” concluded Ghedin.
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