Hey, I just got home! Yes, I’m sorry I couldn’t call sooner. That last job I was in had surprisingly tight security. Or? Ah, I thought I told you. pressure washing He sent me to this place called Midgar… which final fantasy 7 place, to do work for Shinra.
Yes, I know that Shinra is an evil capitalist corporation responsible for the death and downfall of thousands of innocent people. I mean, what company isn’t that good? If I start limiting things to employers who don’t actively harm, I’ll never work. Plus, $75 to wash a motorbike and car in a fancy, air-conditioned place when it’s 90 degrees and eggs are $4 a carton? A girl must eat.
Besides, it wasn’t really that bad. The urban development manager let me into the Shinra Electric Power Company headquarters and let me into the exhibition hall. He needed me to clean a standard Shinra model SA-37 transporter and one of those new Hardy Daytona prototypes. Both were a real disaster. As with the Hauler, you could tell it was a used model. I even had to peel off the remnants of old work logos.
Once I finally cleaned it I could see the headlights were on, but I doubt that would work. Like it looks more like an old room at this point. Simple things. Although I will say the tailpipes were, pardon my language, a female dog to clean. I had to go through three different nozzles trying to get into the holes and internal parts.
Soap? No, I’m not going to use soap on it. It would be a waste of money and even though it’s a major lead, I’m not going to waste the product.
Also, the Hardy Daytona was much more complex and needed it. This test model was magnificent. There are so many details in it. There were so many times where I stepped back and looked and said, “Okay, this is only 98% done. But I don’t see any dirt on that tire or on the kickstand.” Soap and wide angle nozzles were a godsend.
Oh yes. Do you know the type of urban development I told you about? The one who hired me. Honestly, Reeve Tuesti seemed like a nice guy, for shinrah. I figured I’d stay safe by watching out for myself, because the Hardy Daytonas are a big deal. But he was great. Leave me to my business. Recording from time to time with an SMS. Honestly, it looked like he was really proud of the Hauler and the bike. He wasn’t condescending or anything, although I probably earn more in a year than in my lifetime.
Ask him out? No, I’m not going to ask him out. I’ll work for a company full of psychopathic mass killers, but I won’t date them.
Especially after the second gig.
Yeah, I got even more work from Shinra after doing so well with Hardy Daytona and Hauler. It… I mean, it was terrifying.
You won’t tell anyone, will you?
It is Shinra. Do you understand it? Hell, given their reach, they’re probably listening right now. Hello Mr. Agent of the Department of General Affairs of the Investigation Sector, I really like your costumes!
Good. But it stops here.
The head of Public security He hired me to clean up one of his robots. He called it a “scorpion sentinel”. It had many legs and a laser on its tail, like a scorpion. Now this guy you might say is a moron. His name was Heidegger. Although Tuesti was pleasant and polite, it seemed like every Heidegger text was a threat. Just as he mentioned that I was “probably” safe and wouldn’t be hurt. Proud of his guns, but not in the sane way Tuesti was. Like scary.
I… I don’t think there’s blood on it. It’s… I don’t want to think about it. Was…
I’ve definitely seen Mako, which is weird. Above all…exposure to it can make you sick, right? I had my costume, but…
Anyway.
I try to rationalize this. Like, “That’s okay. For over $100, I can clean the killer machine!”
Except it’s on.
It is. Stupid. LEFT. Him. Scorpio. Sentinel. In.
I almost fainted when that damn thing looked at me.
It’s not funny! I could have died! Maybe!
Anyway, allegedly it was so she could move her arms over it to get all the angles while cleaning it. He said it was the same reason there was a stool and scaffolding nearby.
But I didn’t expect it because I had to get into every nook and cranny and clean it all up. Which, by the way, was much harder than expected. Like I deserved two hundred more for that, because I was roaming around this robot. The worst jungle gym ever. I continued to analyze the situation, checking my tablet and thinking, “How is this only 95% clean?” Nightmare.
Oh… I have to go. Yes, I have another job. This woman named Tifa from the Sector 7 slum hired me to clean her bar. Have you heard of the Seventh Heaven? Yeah, I hear it’s nice. It will be nice to work for an ordinary person after dealing with Shinra.
Later!
PowerWash Simulator is available for PS4, PS5, Switch, Xbox One, Xbox Series X and PC. He PowerWash Final Fantasy VII Simulator The Midgar Special Pack DLC will be available on March 2, 2023.