:quality(85)//cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/infobae/YX7U7IQFAVEC7HVS5JGOYLD5Y4.jpg "Why are there young couples who stop having sex?")
Thomas and Augustine they are a couple heterosexual of 30 there 28 years, without health or financial problems, who have been living together for a short time. With a feminist profile and a very equal distribution of tasks, both maintain certain friendships separately, but they admit to being in love and desire each other. Sex is very important in their lives and a frequent topic of conversation with their colleagues and even with their respective parents, but they decide to go see a sex therapist because They haven’t had sex for four months.
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Every day it is more common to see cases like that of Tomás and Agustina, young couples who visit sexology centers to deal with an increasingly common situation: the lack of sex. These are young couples (between 25 and 35 years old), who have barely been dating for two or three years and who feel that their sex life has completely stagnated. But, Why does this happen?
When we start a relationship, one of the biggest incentives is sex. This is the case of people whose sexuality is 100% accepted and appreciated. Otherwise, sexual relations are perceived as something aversive and everything is done not to experience them. Therefore, it should be clarified that we are talking about people without any type of sexual dysfunction and with a positive outlook on sex.
So what can bring two young people, in good health, in love, without stress or problems of any other nature, to resort to couples therapy because, although they want, They haven’t had sex in months? For specialists, most likely, the answer lies in the mind.
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Although the false beliefs they have always been the great obstacle for homo sapiens to develop their full potential, there is now a whole range of concepts which, if misinterpreted, can constitute the most powerful sexual repellent.
There is a huge dispersion mental about sex, because of the amount of information we have. We are all looking for new sensations outside, but sexuality focuses attention on the body, in the physical game, in the sensory. Our duty today is temporarily switch off the mind in order to connect with the body.
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“Human beings are surrounded by myths there false beliefs that make us unable to enjoy in bed. Unfortunately, the pornography was one of the few sex educators we had, we lack of sex education and we dare not ask for what we like because we are ashamed,” he said. Florence Salort, gynecologist and sexologist Italian Hospital of Buenos Aires.
We must keep in mind that sexual desire, or the lack thereof, is closely linked to our Genoa and their predisposition to combine with as many subjects as possible in order to secure the future generation. But besides the genetic and evolutionary factors, we also have the emotional factors.
Western societies in particular have suffered from an epidemic of mental illnesses in recent decades, with particular influence from the depressions and the troubles of anxiety. The precariousness of employment and real estate, the fear of climate change and other factors such as the destruction of common areas or the deterioration of social life influence and cause problems related to mental health.
One of the greatest psychological conditions today is he stress. Sexual relations need, among other things, a calm internal environment to take place in a positive way. This means that if our minds are elsewhere or we’re worried about something, we’re much less likely to feel like general sex.
Science links this epidemic to the growing rise of insecurity, very present in the nature of modern life. In this sense, most researchers agree that they are young people suffer the most from the decline in sexual activity.
In this seemingly hypersexualized world, the loss of desire when it comes to maintaining a relationship with a stable partner is more common than it seems and studies confirm it. An analysis of the University of San Diego concluded that the millennials (people born between the 1980s and 2000s) have fewer sexual encounters than young people in the Generation X (1960-1984) and those of the Baby boom (1946-1965).
According to other research published in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 54% of men and 42% of women admit that they are not satisfied with the sexual frequency of their long-term relationships.
At the beginning of a relationship, it is usual for the frequency of sexual relations to be very high. It is a phase “watered” with hormones, where the testosterone (the only hormone that has been shown to be directly linked to sexual desire in both men and women) and dopamine They are on the surface, and it shows.
As if nothing was forever After a short period of relationship, everything normalizes: we begin to feel our individuality more and to see the other person in a more rational way. Many times this coincides with moving in together and there begins to be a greater routine in all directions.
Currently, social pressure to be “the best” prevails. And we can’t do everything. In other words, most of the time the biggest problem is lack of time having that sex and the real priority What we give. When we talk about real priority, we mean exactly that. A person may say that it is super important for them to eat properly and then, due to lack of time, end up eating everything that is processed every day. The result: vital inconsistency.
The same thing happens with sex. We can shout to the four winds that for us sex is super-mega-ultra important, but if we don’t give it priority in the form of time in our lives, it won’t happen. And here is a key piece of this puzzle: the belief that sex should always come innately, unforeseen, totally emotional, like furtive lovers on a summer evening at dawn.
The truth is that this this is not the case in most cases. And there are couples who, waiting for this internal force to connect them in a perfect sexual relationship, go months and months without contact. And do we really think that with the pace of life we lead, sex is something that will be born “impulsive” always?
“We feel asked to be ‘good in bed’. We live surrounded by stereotypes. We believe that “perfect” bodies are synonymous with enjoying bodies. Or even that sexual desire must be spontaneous. Fortunately, there is a growing understanding that sex also has to do with caressFinally looksTHE Kisses and the hugsand not just with coital activity,” Hi finished.
It is very common for one member of the couple to have a lower or higher libido than the other, or that one has a more passive attitude at the beginning of sexual relations. Likewise, many people do not experience spontaneous sexual desire and find that it often only occurs when their partner has a breakthrough. They may also need the setting and environment to be perfect.
Both of these things can make one partner feel like the other isn’t attracted to them, while the other feels like everything is fine. Worry about your sex life may also be due to feeling that you are not having sex as much as “you should” and the idea that other people are doing a lot more than you are. The truth, of course, is that the “right” amount is the one that suits each person and their partner, no more and no less.
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